"Hold The Rope"

Over the course of our lives there are some things that tend to stick with us such as a quote that we hear or a lesson we learn. Every so often something happens in our lives that takes us back to that time and conjures up those memories. 

I’ve heard the words echoed and referred to in many different ways, especially during my time in the coaching profession, “hold the rope.” I remember sitting in the gymnasium during the early spring as we began our preparation for the upcoming high school baseball season. After all, I grew up in Western New York, and much of our pre-season activities did occur inside as it was far too cold, wet, and white to go outside. Our coach handed each player a sheet full of questions asking for us to list our individual goals, team goals, as well as a few others things regarding the season that was fast approaching. The last question was far different from any of the others and made you stop and think for a moment. The scenario described was this: Imagine that you are hanging off the edge of a cliff and the only thing preventing you from falling is the end of a rope that you are holding and the person standing on top of the cliff holding the other end of that rope. Who would you choose to be at the other end of that rope? Where could he possibly be going with this, we all thought. How does this have anything to do with this team, this season, and our success? I pondered for a little while and then I filled in my answer, my dad. We all handed in our questionnaires, and, after coach had the opportunity to go over all of them, we met again and discussed our responses. We covered goal setting and everything else, but I was really anxious to get to that last question and get the explanation as to what that was all about. Finally, we got there and everything seemed to slow down as everyone’s eyes were now focused on coach and their ears perked up. I sensed I wasn’t the only one whose curiosity was piqued by this topic. He proceeded to tell us that he had hoped we would all choose a teammate to be on the other end of that rope. It didn’t have to be a member of our baseball team necessarily, but a teammate in life, be it a friend, a family member, a mentor. The idea is that sometimes over the course of a game, a season, or more importantly in life, you are going to have some tough times. You are going to feel like you are dangling over the edge of a cliff and don’t know if you can hold on any longer. Sometimes you begin to feel like falling is easier than fighting your way back to the top. Realize that you have someone on the other end of that rope that is willing to do everything in their power to pull you back up. All you have to do is hold on to that rope and everything is going to be ok. There are times when you are going to feel like letting go, but, I promise, if you “hold the rope” someone will pull you back up. You have to hold on because someday there will be someone that needs you to stand on top of that cliff and fight with every ounce of your being to pull him or her back up. We were going to apply that idea to our ballclub and our motto for that season was going to be “hold the rope.”

This very lesson is something that has always stuck with me and it is a measuring stick I use to this day when looking at people in my life or on our team. I will ask myself about someone, if I am hanging off the edge of a cliff, do I want this person on the other end of my rope? Recently, I was doing some thinking and this thought came to my mind. Something hit me just out of nowhere and I realized that there is more to this than what I have already discussed. I now recognize that hanging off the edge of that cliff is the easy part. All you have to do is hold on and fight and you know you have someone at the top that is holding on and fighting just as hard. You know that whether or not you are okay is really in your hands. Everything is in your control. The difficult part is being the person at the top that is holding on and fighting with everything you’ve got to pull your “teammate” up to safety. However, when you’re at the top, you have so little control. You can give all the effort your heart and soul have to give, but if at any point the person on the other end of the rope gives up the fight and let’s go, you are helpless to save them. You can stand at the edge and look down and see the empty canyon into which they are in danger of falling. You can look down and know that you have the strength to pull them back up if they just hold tight. But no matter what you know in your heart and no matter the fight you are willing to put up, if that person decides to let go, there is nothing that you can do.

After everything that I’ve had to see and go through, I now have come to the realization that I much rather be the person dangling off the edge of the cliff. I can control how much I fight. I will determine how tightly I hold on. I will make it back to the top because I know I have people that care enough about me to pull me back up. Even though I know I am capable, I don’t ever want to have to be the one standing at the top of the cliff again. It is too hard to see your “teammate” let go…..